This is a revision to a previous post that unfortunately was misunderstood by some readers as a dogmatic proclamation. I respect the integrity and freedom of belief of all Gryphem readers, and would never be so audacious as to tell you what you must believe, especially in the realm of personal spirituality.
The comments that follow have been inspired by a new realization, a “eureka moment” in my personal spiritual experience. More about that later. First, some background to give context.
- - - - - - - - - -
I was raised in a fundamentalist denomination in which I alternately heard two very different explanations of how and why we believed as we did.
The first rationale for our particular belief system, simply put, went something like this. You cannot prove God. God demands that we accept him by faith. We are required by God to accept on faith that the Bible is his inspired word, authoritative in all things, and is to be interpreted literally (which really meant interpreted according to the tenets of fundamentalism). No proof is required, just blind faith.
The second rationale is this. Christianity is a religion based in historical events. The events of the Bible, and in particular the life of Jesus, are provable occurrences with objective reality. We can know that Jesus lived, died, and was resurrected. These events, while not rising to the level of proof, are extremely strong “scientific” evidence for the validity of our belief system. Faith is still required, but only as an acceptance of the historical record (the literally-interpreted Bible) and as a bridge from that historical reality to personal acceptance.
Ironically, no one ever seemed to notice the contradiction between these two common rationales.
When I became an adult, I left that church. I was tired of the contradictions and the demands that I must believe just as “they” told me to believe. I became an agnostic for many years. I was never an atheist, for I always believed in God. I simply could not imagine that those dogmatic (and often judgmental) people in the pews were portraying him accurately. I began to find what religious experiences I found in the beauty of nature, in uplifting music, in the faces of children… not in the church or even the Bible.
The irony of the matter is this. During my agnostic years, my prayer life began to grow. From my earliest memories, I had prayed, and I did not stop when I walked away from the fundamentalist church. Freed from those demands and damnations, I voiced my questions to God himself.
Over time, I began to learn to listen to his answers. I learned that God was not offended by my questions. I discovered that he did indeed want me to use my intellect. Faith as I came to understand it was not opposed to reason; faith in its rightful role augments reason. I concluded that God was not offended when I stayed away from the church building, that he wanted me to appreciate the wonders of the world he made. I came to understand that God, too, appreciated the highest forms of human accomplishment. Finally I learned, mostly by listening, that God does not want my praise; he wants to share life with me. It’s not about laws or worship services or even creeds. It’s really all about a relationship.
The proof of my religious conviction is not blind obedience free of critical thinking. Neither is it historically incontestable. The proof of my religious conviction is not found in bible, or church, or historical event, but in the ongoing conversations I have daily with God. To be sure, bible and church and historical understandings sometimes enlighten my walk with God. But the root of my religious experience is a relationship. As Jesus himself said, “The Kingdom of God is within you.”
After 20 years or so, I returned to the church because of a congregation of Lutheran people of God who accepted me with all my questions and residual anger, and loved me anyway. They showed me how God was present in their fellowship and invited me to join them. They made no demands; they just offered me friendship and love. Once I realized they were sincere, it was not a difficult decision to join them. I came back.
Now, to return to that “eureka moment.” A few years ago I watched a fascinating dramatization of events surrounding the fictitious discovery of the physical body of Jesus of Nazareth. Such a discovery would, if true, disprove the physical resurrection of Jesus, one of the cornerstones of the Christian faith. I watched intrigued, expecting to be offended by what I supposed would be the anti-Christian conclusion. In fact, I was not offended. Against all expectations, I found myself forever impressed by the response of one particular priest. Confronted with facts that seemed to disprove the foundation of his faith, he smiled. He did not choose to argue the validity of the archeological discovery, or the scriptural record. Instead, caring but unthreatened, he replied, “I know God exists, for I spoke with him this morning.” That’s all. That was all he needed.
I don’t think I realized it at the time, but the faithful response of that man changed me.
For reasons unknown, all this returned to my mind a few months ago. I began to think about what my response would have been if I had stood in the place of that faithful priest. What would I have done when confronted with irrefutable proof that my beliefs were in error? Would I argue? Refuse to listen? Try desperately to adapt my beliefs? Abandon my faith altogether?
My previous post was a response to that question which I had posed to myself. Here’s what I wrote back in May.
- - - - - - - - - -
I am a believer in the revelation of God in Jesus of Nazareth. I have experienced the presence of God through Christ. I talk to God daily. I am a Christian living in communion with God by his grace.
Do I believe in the resurrection? Yes. Would I stop believing in the God of Christianity if it were somehow proven that Jesus did not rise from the dead? No.
Do I believe in the virgin birth? Yes. Would I stop believing in the God of Christianity if it were somehow proven that Jesus was not born of a virgin? No.
I am a Christian because I have met God through Christ. Through scripture, through the Church, through people who Love, and most of all through prayer, I have met and know God.
He speaks, and I listen. I speak, and He listens. He has known me and now I know him. He has loved me and now I love him. I can no more stop believing in God than I can stop believing in myself.
I am grateful and blessed.
- - - - - - - - - -
Thanks for letting me clarify.
Peace be with you.
Gryphem
