The 18 Minutes: Nixon, Mao, and Ninja Turtles

In a report this morning, CNN.com reported that a Chinese company had rerouted official U.S. email through China earlier this year.

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CNN.com Report: Chinese Company 'Hijacked' U.S. Web Traffic

“Internet traffic from several U.S. government agency sites was briefly diverted through servers in China in April, congressional investigators reported Wednesday.

“For 18 minutes, about 15 percent of all web traffic was redirected through China, including traffic to and from the sites of the U.S. Army, Navy, Marine Corps, Air Force, the office of the Secretary of Defense, the Senate and NASA…

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I think CNN.com has missed the true significance of the story.  In the public interest, The Gryphem Report offers the following additional comments, which explain the rest of the story.

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The Gryphem Report:
Mao Tse-Tung and Ninja Turtles Implicated in Watergate Scandal

Apparently, earlier this year U.S. electronic communications were routed through China for 18 minutes.

CNN.com reported the basic facts on 18 November, but failed to understand and convey the true significance of the incident.  The Gryphem Report will fill in the gaps for you.

Notice the length of time when the electronic communications were diverted.  Apparently, no one at CNN has realized that 18 minutes is precisely the amount of time missing from Richard Nixon's Watergate tapes.  Add in Nixon’s involvement with China during his presidency, and it is easy to conclude – all this is much too strange to be coincidence.

For those of you under 40, The Watergate Scandal was a series of events in the early 1970s following a burglary of Democratic Party Headquarters (in the Watergate Hotel in Washington, DC) by persons on President Nixon’s staff.  Nixon may or may not have ordered the break-in, but he definitely did attempt to cover up the facts after the burglary.  President Nixon was forced from office as a result of the scandal.

During the investigation it was revealed that President Nixon had secretly (and illegally) recorded all conversations in the Oval Office of the President on audiotape.  Those tapes were subpoenaed by the investigators over the objections of the administration.  When the investigators inspected the tapes, they discovered that one particular portion, 18 minutes long, had been erased.

Previously, most Americans believed that the missing minutes were erased because those minutes were when Nixon discussed the cover-up of the Watergate affair.  Now we find it more likely that that those missing 18 minutes also involved discussion of the role of China in the matter.

Consider that Nixon was the president who normalized relations with China after decades of diplomatic animosity.  Consider also that Nixon had met with Mao in February 1972, four months prior to the infamous break-in that ultimately brought down his presidency.  The conclusions are inescapable. 

In the first place, this event provides the strongest evidence to date that China was somehow complicit in the Watergate scandal. Perhaps even more shocking is the slowly-dawning realization that Richard Nixon must somehow be involved in the electronic communications leak in early 2010.  Which means that his death in 1994 was faked!

How all this was overlooked by the mainstream media establishment is a mystery.  Or perhaps not so much a mystery as… a COVER-UP!

Astonishingly, there’s more.  Notice the name of the Pentagon spokesperson quoted in the story:

“Pentagon spokeswoman Lt. Col. April Cunningham said the Defense Department is concerned…”

Could this be the former April O’Neil of TMNT renown?  Who knows what her surname might be today?  The timeframe would be about right for her to have reached the rank of Lt. Col. In the Army.  And according to Wikipedia, “April… was a skilled computer programmer…

Coincidence?  I think not.

And what about the fact that the leak occurred in the month of APRIL?  Is that "coincidence" too?  I wonder what Colonel "Cunningham" would have to say about THAT?  What?  Oh.  Well, maybe.  Okay, never mind.

Still - All of this means, of course, that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are somehow involved.  Whether they are on the right side of the law remains to be seen.  It bodes well that April O’Neil once was an investigative reporter.  Perhaps she is helping the Turtles get to the bottom of it all.  And yet, consider these responses April gave in response to questions from the media.  She stated that “The security of Department of Defense information is not affected.”  She indicated that the Pentagon had “no information to confirm whether the incident occurred.”  That doesn’t sound so good.  Is she merely buying time for the Turtles to bring the culprits to justice?  Or are she and the Turtles complicit in this Neo-Watergate Affair?  We most fervently hope not.

We have some messages for those involved.

For The President and Congress:  The time has come to uncover the truth.  Please appoint a Special Investigator and/or Prosecutor at your earliest convenience.

For the Ninja Turtles, and Colonel April:  Don’t get caught up in a cover-up.  Remember – Your integrity is your greatest asset.  So do the right thing.  By the way, how is Master Splinter?  Do you have any indication that Shredder might be involved in this deception?  We have wondered about these things, but we didn’t want to jump to any conclusions…

And finally, for Mr. Nixon:  First of all, great job on the faking your death thing.  What are you now, about 98 years old?  And now that we’ve said that, didn’t you learn the first time that crime doesn’t pay?  Sorry to have to bring your attention to this, but there will be no Gerald Ford to help you this time.  Also, Mr. Nixon, we’d appreciate it if you would prepare in advance - We have a lot of questions that need answers.

Has anyone seen David Frost lately?

Gryphem