This morning I showed
my ID card to the guard as I drove through the gate to the base where I work. I
parked and walked into the office.
It was then that I discovered my ID card was
missing.
I checked my pockets, satchel, and desk.
I got some items out of the safe while
considering what to do next.
I retraced my route, looking for the card on
the ground. I searched my car.
I returned to the office and searched the
entire desk area again. I searched trash cans in office and bathroom. I checked
the area around the safe, even though I knew the card had been missing before I
went there.
I went back to the parking lot and searched my
car again, this time looking under seats and mats. I got on my hands and knees
to search see if had landed on the asphalt under the car.
I walked to the gate and asked the guard if he
remembered handing the card back to me after inspecting it when I drove onto
the base. He did.
Truthfully, I already knew the guard had given
the card back to me. I was just stalling for time trying to think of new
places to search.
I went back to the car to seek out new places
where it could have fallen.
I discovered a space into which it could have
slipped if I'd set it on the steering column. That must be where it had
disappeared to, I thought. There was just no other place it could be.
I got tools from the trunk and dismantled the
steering column housing to see if my ID card had fallen in there. It had not.
I went back to the office.
I had a critical task that needed to be
completed for my supervisor immediately.
To complete that task I needed access to the company website. Without my
ID card I could not access the internet at all.
With no prospect of locating my card anytime
soon, I persuaded a coworker to let me use his computer to access the internet
on his computer. I completed the urgent task and averted the impending
administrative crisis.
I told my coworker about the black hole at the
center of the universe where stray socks and the occasional ID card go when
they vanish.
Out of ideas, I reluctantly went to the
command security office, where I asked (with more embarrassment than hope)
whether anyone had turned in an ID card. No one had.
I returned to my desk, despondent, confused,
and without a clue as to what to do next. I sat.
In my mind I reviewed where I had been, what I
had done between the front gate and my desk.
I began to repeat every little step and
movement of those fateful few moments, reviewing in my mind, acting the motions
out physically.
I stood, picked up my satchel, and recreated
the movement of taking it off my shoulder and placing it on my desk.
I saw an opening in the back of the satchel
that I'd never noticed before.
It was too small for anything more than a few
sheets of paper, and it was partially sealed with Velcro.
I looked into that small opening and
discovered a portal to the black hole at the center of the universe.
I put some coffee on to brew.
I went to my car and put the steering column
back together.
I returned to my desk and drank my coffee.
Enjoyed my coffee.
Now I'm going back to search for all those
missing socks.
- Gryphem
