Has this ever happened to you?

This morning I showed my ID card to the guard as I drove through the gate to the base where I work. I parked and walked into the office.

It was then that I discovered my ID card was missing.

I checked my pockets, satchel, and desk.

I got some items out of the safe while considering what to do next.

I retraced my route, looking for the card on the ground. I searched my car. 

I returned to the office and searched the entire desk area again. I searched trash cans in office and bathroom. I checked the area around the safe, even though I knew the card had been missing before I went there.

I went back to the parking lot and searched my car again, this time looking under seats and mats. I got on my hands and knees to search see if had landed on the asphalt under the car.

I walked to the gate and asked the guard if he remembered handing the card back to me after inspecting it when I drove onto the base. He did. 

Truthfully, I already knew the guard had given the card back to me. I was just stalling for time trying to think of new places to search.

I went back to the car to seek out new places where it could have fallen.

I discovered a space into which it could have slipped if I'd set it on the steering column. That must be where it had disappeared to, I thought. There was just no other place it could be.

I got tools from the trunk and dismantled the steering column housing to see if my ID card had fallen in there. It had not.

I went back to the office. 

I had a critical task that needed to be completed for my supervisor immediately.  To complete that task I needed access to the company website. Without my ID card I could not access the internet at all.

With no prospect of locating my card anytime soon, I persuaded a coworker to let me use his computer to access the internet on his computer. I completed the urgent task and averted the impending administrative crisis.

I told my coworker about the black hole at the center of the universe where stray socks and the occasional ID card go when they vanish.

Out of ideas, I reluctantly went to the command security office, where I asked (with more embarrassment than hope) whether anyone had turned in an ID card. No one had.

I returned to my desk, despondent, confused, and without a clue as to what to do next. I sat.

In my mind I reviewed where I had been, what I had done between the front gate and my desk.

I began to repeat every little step and movement of those fateful few moments, reviewing in my mind, acting the motions out physically.

I stood, picked up my satchel, and recreated the movement of taking it off my shoulder and placing it on my desk.

I saw an opening in the back of the satchel that I'd never noticed before. 

It was too small for anything more than a few sheets of paper, and it was partially sealed with Velcro. 

I looked into that small opening and discovered a portal to the black hole at the center of the universe.

I put some coffee on to brew.

I went to my car and put the steering column back together.

I returned to my desk and drank my coffee. Enjoyed my coffee.

Now I'm going back to search for all those missing socks.

- Gryphem