Adelaar and Edward

Greetings, Gryphem Fans.

Progress is being made.  One of the many things Gryphem has been learning is that humor can take a rough situation and make it better.  In fact, sometimes the roughest topics make really good humor.  Like piracy.  Who would've thought Blackbeard, given a little time and perspective, could make us smile?

Here's a ditty to make you witty.  In Honor of "Speak Like a Pirate Day," go listen to the greatest Pirate Rap ever recorded.  It's Straight Outta Portsmouth, and it's here.


By the way, this is the first time EVER that Adelaar Gryphem has allowed his image to be published.  You can use the great intelligence characteristic of so many Gryphem fans to figure out which one is me.  Until next time...

Gryphem

Intolerance and Outrage: Don’t Miss the Point

Note about the Gryphem blog: 
Gryphem still is working on a new vision… But sometimes it is just too hard to keep silent in the presence of duplicity and manipulative intimidation.  

Note about the events inspiring this post: 
In case you haven't been paying attention, the president of a national fast-food chain stated to the media that he believes marriage should be between one man and one woman.  For that he has been vilified to a shocking degree.  Some have even called for the banishment of the restaurant from entire cities... all because he spoke his religiously-based political opinion.
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The outrage over comments about gay marriage by Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy is revealing some staggering hypocrisy and outright un-American discrimination.  Watching this unfold is painful for an American who believes in honesty, freedom, and respectful public dialogue. 

The shreiks of condemnation from self-appointed defenders of "approved rights" reveal that these Harpies have no real understanding of either freedom of religion or freedom of speech.  Or perhaps they understand but do not support these constituional rights.  Despite sanctimonious proclamations of patriotism, that is possible.

The self-righteous voices of damnation are not coming from the ones who are usually accused of being intolerant.  No, these voices of condemnation are coming from the ones who claim to be open-minded, who claim to be defending rights, who wrap themselves in the American flag while telling their countrymen what they must not believe, while exhorting the masses to sanction the non-compliant.

Let’s speak plainly.  All Dan Cathy did was to speak his mind about gay marriage, which he thinks is wrong.  His opinion derives from his religious beliefs, based on his interpretation of scripture.  For this he has been demonized.   He did not say he would not serve homosexuals.  He did not advocate hatred or violence.  Yet he has been called vicious, and a hatemonger.  Mr. Cathy did not violate anyone’s constitutional rights.  He has been more than willing to do business with groups that support gay rights.  He has not demanded that others conform to his point of view as a precondition to working together (in stark contrast to those who now condemn him!).  What he did was exercise his right to speak publicly in contradiction of one of the tenets of the secular dogma of political correctness. 

Gay Americans and those who support them may not like what Mr. Cathy had to say, and that is understandable and perfectly appropriate.  It is quite another matter to impugn his integrity, to malign his motives, to attempt to force an apology or at least silence him, to try to force his business out of town.  When did it become a prerequisite for doing business to have just the right political beliefs?  When did we start requiring ideological conformity as a prerequisite to participation in the American economy? 

This whole series of  events is disturbingly reminiscent of the way religious police respond to violations of their religious codes in a certain nation in Southwest Asia.  Their harsh retribution is legendary, as is their unwillingness to listen.  In this analogy, the enforcer of orthodoxy is NOT the opponent of gay marriage.

Despite what those screaming in outrage would have you believe, Mr. Cathy’s motive was not hatred, nor a desire to hurt anyone.  He was not even being mean-spirited.  He was simply stating his honestly-held belief.  For the most part, it has not been people of faith who want someone to suffer, but the politically correct crowd.  The keepers of political correctness want someone to pay for transgressing against their secular orthodoxy.  Mayors and city council members have been calling for the expulsion of Chick-Fil-A restaurants from their cities.  Left-wing politicos are trying to enforce correct thought and speech.  Civic action groups and media commenters are calling names and condemning.  It is the opponents of Mr. Cathy who are trying to do him emotional and economic harm.

Mr. Cathy, although he certainly knew his comments would not be popular, had no intention to offend.  He simply stated his views.  The gay community, on the other hand, with its plan for a “kiss-in,” will respond with an event specifically designed and intended to offend.  This is the playbook reaction of a community lacking in self-assurance, needing to provoke attention to validate its existence, a community that once again is about to do itself more harm than good.

Now that you know what I think about all the players in this little drama, let me tell you something that might surprise you.  I support gay rights.  In fact, I belong to a Christian denomination which officially affirms gay rights.  (Not all Christians fit the stereotype of intolerance so popular in the public dialogue!)  I have no wish to oppress.  Because I believe words carry impact beyond what you’ll find in the dictionary, and because marriage has meant a certain thing from time immemorial, I wish my gay friends (and I do have some) would call it something other than “marriage,”  But I am happy for same-sex couples to have all the rights of domestic partnership that my wife and I enjoy.

This isn’t about gay rights.

I don’t care if you are Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, or none-of-the-above.  I don’t care what you think about the role of public opinion or government in business.  I don’t care if you believe homosexuality is a sin, a choice, or a trait.  I don’t care if you are Christian, Moslem, Shinto, or atheist.  None of that is the real issue here. 

What matters is whether we still believe in freedom of religion and freedom of speech.  Does Mr. Cathy have the right to speak publicly his firmly-held religious beliefs, or doesn’t he?  If he DOES, as the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution clearly states, then all the demands for his head are out of line.

There is a great danger that we will miss the point of all this entirely, if we are distracted by the screamers.  I pray that most of us, including Americans who support gay rights and still are loyal Americans, are intelligent enough to recognize hypocrisy and manipulation when we see them, and committed enough to our heritage of freedom as expressed in the Bill of Rights to do something about it. 

Do Americans have the freedom to believe and practice their religion, or don’t they?

Do Americans have the right to speak truth as they see it, or don’t they?

Those are the real questions.

- Gryphem 

Final Note:  I will return to my contemplation of a brighter future for a little while yet.  I continue to work on a new vision.

Gryphem’s Adieu

It's time to say 'good-bye' for a while.  Not forever, but for a time yet to be determined.

Here are some uncomfortable facts.

(1) It has been over a month since there has been a new post on the Gryphem blog. 

(2) It has been over two months since there has been an original post of broad interest. 

(3) The Gryphem blog is languishing. 

A few readers have asked what's going on.  I am gratified that they care.  To them, I offer apologies and an explanation.  I confess to poor structural form in this post, particularly with regard to switching from first to third person and back.  I am not trying to get an ‘A’ in English, but to express some important things with sincerity and honesty.

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The Gryphem blog still exists.  You might say Gryphem is taking a break.  One reason is an extreme increase in the pace of change and incidence of crises in the personal life of the author.  Another is the technical changes imposed by Blogspot, which make it much more difficult to post, and nearly impossible to post the illustrations which have been an important part of most Gryphem articles. 

As you may have guessed, though, there is another issue that goes beyond these.  Gryphem began as a place to share observations, concerns, blessings, and humor.  In recent months it has become more and more morose.  In the early days Gryphem posted pieces that reflected daily life, sometimes centered in concerns, sometimes in humor.  Politics and big social issues were rarely the topic.  That was intentional.  There were (and are) too many political and problem-oriented blogs already.  Neither political topics nor big controversial issues were off-limits, but they were not the point of the blog.  And they never should have been. 

Despite good intentions, though, the Gryphem blog gradually became more political and problem-oriented.  The author has become a casualty of the hyper-partisanship infecting our society.  As a true moderate surrounded by extremists of all persuasions, he allowed himself to become despondent about the intolerance of the people, about the refusal of hyper-partisans to see any point of view other than their own. 

As a person of faith and goodwill, Gryphem allowed himself to be negatively impacted by the overwhelming hatred of those who disagreed with him, especially the angry atheists.  [Yes, I know not all atheists are hateful.  The ones who are have injured me, though.] 

As an honest man and a lover of truth, Gryphem was damaged by the creeping realization that the people as a whole are becoming less and less concerned with truth or solutions, and more and more concerned with vindication and blaming the opposition.

The self-assigned motivation for the Gryphem blog, however unspoken (and perhaps even unrealized) turned out to be an intense desire to fix the world - or at least our American society.  Understandably, this became a source of angst.  Gryphem began to feel something similar to combat fatigue. 

In addition to offering some actual solutions, Gryphem also has undertaken to improve the level of dialogue between opponents on a variety of issues.  Ever motivated, he tried (as he always has) to educate the ignorant, calm the enraged, and spread tolerance to the people.  He tried (as he always has) to bring some good-natured understanding and mutual acceptance to the public discourse, to enable even those who disagree with each other to live in peace and good-natured cooperation.

Sometimes the results were inspirational.  Sometimes the results were depressing.  You might say that Gryphem is caught somewhere between idealism and cynicism.  Now, he needs some time off to cure the hurt that has come when the best wisdom and compassion he has been able to muster has been met with ignorance, anger, and sometimes scorn.  He needs to take a step back, to reorient away from politics and toward matters of social or individual concern, away from drama and tragedy and toward humor, away from anxiety and toward the wonders and little miracles all around in everyday life.  Gryphem wants to refocus away from “look at what’s wrong,” to “look at what’s important.”  He needs to redirect away from how bad things may be, and toward amazing wonders of humanity, divinity, and nature that are too often overlooked. 

Gryphem does not want this blog to be the opinion piece on the evening news, focusing our attention on this problem or that one.  Yes, we do need enlightened commentators and advocates to speak out in support of important causes.  They have an important job to do.  But even the commentator who uncovers corruption or highlights injustice, who explains clearly and helps resolve bad situations, exists within an overriding dysfunction.  He or she is speaking from within our pervasive focus on what is bad, what is wrong, problems mundane or horrific.  He or she may be helping improve our world in some ways, but rarely does a commentator help us perceive and acknowledge the wonders of life all around us, so often overlooked. 

This Gryphem blog should not strive primarily to focus your attention on problems.  Not even when coupled with good ideas about how to improve things.  The Gryphem blog should be a different voice, one capable of expressing joy as well as angst.  One that will focus on the marvels of life all around, rather than on the troubles of the moment.  One that will help us all be more engaged with our human family and the natural world that sustains us.  One that will engender cooperation and mutual respect instead of the controversy and disrespect that characterize so much of our public dialogue.   The Gryphem blog needs to reorient itself toward life, joy, and love.

Constant anger and outrage are no way to live.  Living should be about smelling the flowers, feeling the sunshine, and loving the children.  Gryphem intends to extricate himself and this blog from the mire of existential angst that characterizes our public conversation.  

The time has come for Gryphem to reestablish an ethical high ground based on affirmation rather than condemnation.  The time has come to regain a healthy perspective. 

The decision to suspend the Gryphem blog for a time has been difficult, in part because new tracking functions on Blogspot indicate that readership is quite a bit more than previously imagined.  I am grateful for that.  Even so, a time out is absolutely necessary.  It will be a short one, I hope, but time will tell. 

Gryphem will return as a blog that is not depressing and rarely angry.  Gryphem will return as a blog characterized by respect, gratitude, and joy.  Most of the time, anyway.

Of course we all know that even when the new and improved Gryphem returns in wonder and serenity, he will inevitably need to focus, once in a while, on this problem or that.  To ignore issues that need to be discussed simply because they are not pleasant would be disingenuous, on a par with naysayers who refuse to say anything nice or conciliatory even when it might be warranted.  So those types of topics will still be discussed, sometimes.  But even when problems must be addressed, there should be a context of engaged creativity.  Solutions should be offered.  Hope should be in evidence.  Damnation for its own sake is always to be rejected, and even posts about problems should be emcompassed within an overarching attitude of compassion.  Being blessed, and being a blessing, is mostly about attitude.

Thank you for reading.  Thank you for your faithfulness.  Gryphem is leaving for a while on sabbatical, to cultivate the proper attitude and create a proper context of positive emotion and faith which should characterize the next chapter in the story of the Gryphem blog.  Gryphem will reengage, in a little while.

Thank You, and Good Night.  I'll See You in the Morning.

Gryphem

“Whatever things are true, whatever things are honest, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

- Paul of Tarsus (New Testament book of Philippians, chapter 4, verse 8)

Theft by Phone

Today I am sharing with you an injustice that has been perpetrated against me and my family.  Have you ever been subjected to ‘overage’ charges by your phone carrier?  Were the charges reasonable?  Well, mine were not.  In my opinion, the financial penalty charged against my account for using too many minutes last month is ethically indefensible.  They may have the legal right to suck my bank account dry, but their actions are nevertheless immoral. 

Following is the letter I sent to my carrier today.  Even though most or all companies use similar tactics, you will notice that I include the identity of the offending organization.  They don’t care about customer service, they don’t care about customer satisfaction, they don’t care about what is ethical or unethical.  What they care about is getting your money into their corporate account.  Use this information as you will, and be warned. 

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T-Mobile Customer Relations

P.O. Box 37380

Albuquerque, NM 87176-7380

To whom it may concern:

Funny way to start a letter, isn’t it?  “To whom it may concern.”  But this issue does indeed concern me, and I hope that it soon will concern you, the recipient.  I hope that in a short amount of time it will concern some people higher up in the T-Mobile organization.  Time will tell.

Here are the unvarnished facts.  The normal monthly payment on my T-Mobile account is about $90.  January $90.  February $94.  March $91.  A bit high, but agreed and expected.  Then comes my most recent bill.  $383.  Really?  $383?!  No, I didn’t miss a payment.  So what happened??

Apparently, one of the people on my plan went over their allotted minutes, and received a few texts, as well.  Wow.  Perhaps a small additional fee would be appropriate.  But let me tell you what is NOT appropriate.  Quadrupling my monthly payment is NOT appropriate!

What did it cost T-Mobile to provide those extra minutes?  A few pennies for electricity or server usage?  A dollars-worth of accelerated maintenance?  Apparently T-Mobile wants me simply to accept that an additional $290 is a reasonable charge for those extra minutes.

Let me tell you something, T-Mobile.  Your fee may be legal (I’ll be checking on that) but it sure as hell is neither reasonable nor ethical.  Perhaps you have found a legalistic way to justify robbing me and my family.  Probably you will get away with it.  But it is NOT going unnoticed.

Now I understand why T-Mobile – and most of the other cellular and cable providers out there – force their customers into contracts.  It’s not so you can plan to meet the anticipated need.  It’s not to enable you to provide better service.  No, your demand for contractual arrangements as a business model is for two unspoken and insidious purposes:  (1) To establish legal justification to stick your corporate hands into the pockets of innocent customers who are unlucky enough to have chosen you as their provider and naïve enough to think going a few minutes over the plan limit will be okay.  (They think that because they are naïve enough to trust you to do the right thing, which is laughable to a profit-driven organization like T-Mobile, isn’t it?.  Funny, huh?)  The second reason to insist on contracts?  It is (2) to legally bind customers to your company so that it is difficult for them to leave when they realize how despicable your business practices are.

Your quadrupling of my bill for those extra minutes is like my grocer charging me $1 for the first head of cabbage in my shopping cart, but charging $3.25 for the second head of cabbage, because I was on the “One Cabbage Plan’.  Would you take that from your grocer?  I wouldn’t.

You are a part of the reason the masses are beginning to turn against capitalism as it is presented in America.  You see, most of them don’t have enough education or experience to realize that this is not actually capitalism.  Real free-market capitalism would mean your customers would continue to do business with you because they like the service you provide and the price at which you provide it – or they would be free to seek the services they want from another provider.  This is NOT capitalism.  This is a quasi-legal scheme to extract massive amounts of money from the bank accounts of unsuspecting (or jaded and hopeless) people for an insignificant return.  You are able to do this because of that contract you force on customers as a precondition to service.

I don’t know how we the public allowed a handful of companies to gain this sort of power over us.  It feels like a monopoly.  It’s not, of course, because T-Mobile and the other providers are separate entities.  Yet they all play this rip-off game the same way, leaving the customer no real choice.  Maybe it’s more like price-fixing, which is also illegal.  Except that this is more a matter of illicit practice-fixing.

You probably will get away with picking my pocket.  In fact, today I am mailing the tribute you have demanded.  You may even suck a little more out of me because I am a few days late owing to investigation of all this.  That’ll add insult to my injury, won’t it?  That ought to show me who’s in control, right? 

You know what you won’t be able to do, though?  You won’t get my respect.  And as soon as I find a company that is demonstrably more ethical, you won’t keep my business.

You know what else you won’t have?  My silence.  Feel free to read this letter again on my blog.  You can find it with a web search for any quotable phrase herein.  Frankly, I don’t care if you read it on my blog or not.  I didn’t put it there for you.  I put it there because I want to warn other trusting souls of the dangers they may not suspect that are inherent in your unethical corporate practices.

Enjoy your ill-gotten gains.  Your time to fleece the public eventually will come to an end.  Soon, I hope.

Sincerely,

[Gryphem]

How to Bathe a Cat

[Adapted from a post found on a news website]

As anyone who has attempted this feat can tell you, bathing a cat is no laughing matter.  In fact, it can be downright painful, and humiliating too.

But don’t despair.  Bathing a cat is simple, really.  No, just kidding.  But it can be done.  You can succeed.  The key is to be properly prepared, mentally and physically.

Remember, although your cat has advantages in intelligence, speed, and total lack of concern for you, you will have advantages in size, strength, and the ability to wear protective garments.

Follow these instructions for bathing your cat.

1.    First, dress for the occasion. A four-ply rubber wet suit is recommended, along with a helmet, face mask and welders gloves.

2.  A bathtub with a glass enclosure is preferred to the one with a shower curtain. A frenzied cat can shred a shower curtain in about 3.5 seconds.

3.  Place the Kitty Bubbles and towel in the enclosed bathtub area before you begin.  No need for the blow dryer.  As tempting as it might be, blow drying the cat after a bath is most definitely not recommended.

4.  Fill the tub with water.  Make it a little warmer than necessary because you still have to find the cat.  Position everything strategically in the shower, so that you can reach it even if you are prone or face down in the tub.

5.  Find your cat.  Use the element of surprise.  Pick the cat up nonchalantly, as if you were simply carrying him to the supper dish.  No need to worry about the cat noticing your strange attire, because the cat barely notices you anyway.

6.  Once you and the cat are inside the bathroom, speed is of the essence.  In a single fluid motion, shut the door to the bathroom, step into the shower, close the glass doors, and drop the cat into the water.  While the cat is still in a state of shock, grasp the Kitty Bubbles and squirt whatever part of the cat is above the water line. You have just begun the wildest 45 seconds of your life. Remember that cats have no handles; add to that the fact that the cat now has soapy fur.  His state of shock has worn off and he's madder than a wet hornet.  Looks a little like one, too.

7.  As best you can while wearing welder's gloves, try to grab hold of the cat as he catapults through the air toward the ceiling.  If possible, give another squirt of Kitty Bubbles while his body is fully exposed in midair.

8.  During the five seconds you are able to hold onto him, rub the cat vigorously.  There is no need to worry about rinsing, because the cat will invariably slide down the glass enclosure into the tub, fall back into the water, thrash about wildly, and rinse himself in the process.

9.  Only attempt the lather and rinse process about three times.  By that point, the cat will have realized the lack of traction on the glass and on the next attempt will climb the most readily available part of you.

10.  Next, the cat must be dried.  No, this is not the easiest part.  By this stage, you will be worn out and the cat will have just become semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.  We suggest here that you drain the tub and - in full view of your cat - reach for the bottle of Kitty Bubbles.

11.  If you have done step 10 correctly, the cat will have left your leg and will be hanging precariously from your helmet.  Although this view of the cat is most disgusting, he will be in a much better position for you to wrap the towel around him.

12.  Be sure the cat is firmly wrapped in the towel before opening the tub enclosure.  Quickly step out, open bathroom door, put the towel-wrapped cat on the floor, step back quickly into the tub enclosure and close the glass door. 

13.  Do not open the glass door until all you can see is the shredded towel.  Remain in the shower while administering first aid to any part of your body which accidentally became uncovered during the bathing process. 

14.  In about two hours it should be safe to exit the bathroom.  Your cat will be sitting out there somewhere looking like a small damp hedgehog while plotting revenge.

Congratulations!  You have just bathed your cat.  Once you have recovered, begin planning your strategy for getting him into the shower next time, since the nonchalant pick-up will only work once. 

In fact, since your cat will be determined never to let you trick him like that again, you might want to be careful around him for a while.  Even if you have no ulterior motives whatsoever your cat, who no longer trusts you, may for any reason or no reason, completely freak out on you at any time within the next week or two.

Have a wonderful day.

Gryphem

A Voice of Reason in the Senate?

Finally, from the midst of endless propaganda, saber-rattling, and ranting about taxes, I hear a voice of reason coming from the U.S. Senate!

I had barely heard of Senator Tom Coburn before, but I will keep track of him now.  Apparently Senator Coburn, a Republican from Oklahoma, is willing to call out the extreme partisans on BOTH sides of the political aisle for incompetence and/or dereliction of their duty to run the country with integrity.  He even criticizes powerful right-wing lobbyist Grover Nordquist – a radical act that most Republicans would never consider if they wanted to be reelected.  

Even more impressive, Senator Coburn seems to have a firm understanding of how to fix the decades-old tax debacle, and a willingness to work in a bipartisan way to get the job done.

Here are the highlights, courtesy of CNN.
     -  The most dysfunctional part of federal policy is the tax code.
     -  Republicans defend loopholes, and betray their past convictions with huge deficit spending and borrowing.
     -  Democrats falsely claim that taxing the rich more heavily will solve U.S. debt problems.
     -  Senator Coburn argues for grand compromise on tax reform along lines of President Reagan's 1986 tax reform.

I am very impressed.  I feel a tiny little bit of hope that maybe wiser, more patriotic leaders in the Congress may yet prevail and keep us from total bankruptcy. 

Two questions:

(1) Am I grasping at a straw, so desperate that I will jump at anyone who seems to have a way out of this mess?  Or is Senator Coburn onto something? 

(2) Coburn for Vice President, anyone?

I know Gryphem is not usually a gateway website, but I encourage you to read Senator Coburn’s comments for yourself.  The article is entitled, “Why America Needs a Tax Reformation” by Tom Coburn, April 17, 2012.  Find it at  http://www.cnn.com/2012/04/17/opinion/coburn-tax-reform/index.html?hpt=hp_t1

Gryphem 

A Meaningful Life

Let’s begin with the ancient Greek proverb: “Know thyself.”

With all appropriate humility, I hope what follows will help someone do just that.

·         You are infinitely valuable.

o    You are what you are, and in your innermost heart, you are good.  Accept yourself.  Love the person you are. 

o    You are also flawed.  You sometimes do or think bad things, even though you know that you shouldn’t.  That is part of what it means to be human.  Love yourself in spite of your own flaws.  Never stop trying to make yourself better, though.

·         Other persons are also valuable. 

o    In your innermost being, you are no better and no worse than anyone else.  This is the meaning of “created in the image of God.”  It is also the meaning of “all men are created equal.”

·         You do not have to prove yourself to anyone, but you do have to respect others if you want to be respected.  You do not have to prove yourself to anyone, but you do have to cooperate, if you want to experience peace and harmony, to have a fulfilling life.

·         Accepting the flaws within yourself (and we all have them) is a necessary prerequisite to self-improvement.

o    You are worthwhile and worthy, but you will never be perfect. 

o    You are better than most people at some things.  Other individuals are better than you at some things.  It’s okay to admit this.

o    Humility is an admirable trait.  Its presence means you understand your place in the big scheme of things.

o    No one ever got to be an expert at anything without understanding his or her need to work, learn, practice, and improve.

·         Others do not have to prove themselves to you.

·         If you want someone to do something or give something or behave a certain way for you, then you must be prepared to do or give something in return.  This does not involve your ontological self.  It is just the way people interact.  This is particularly true with regard to employment. 

o    You need to earn a living.  You need to keep your boss (or your customers/clients) satisfied in order to earn that wage (or profit).  There is nothing demeaning in keeping your boss/customer/client satisfied.  On the contrary, good work is ennobling.

o    You have to prove worthy of the trust you want people to place in you and in your business.  This is not eschatology.  It is economy, sociology, ethics, good interpersonal relationships.

o    If you fail to put others first, whether in personal relationships or business, they will not do or give back in the way you want.

·         Your parents owe you the best upbringing they can give you.

o    As a child or young adult, you are not normally in the best position to judge this.  You do not have the wisdom or life experience to know whether they are succeeding or failing, except in cases of extreme neglect or abuse.  Do not judge them.

o    Remember one of the forgotten Ten Commandments:  “Honor your father and mother.”  They deserve your respect.

o    If and when you have children, you will owe them your best, no matter what price you have to pay to deliver. 

§  They will be more important than your own comfort, more important than your own life.  Anything less is irresponsible and abhorrent.

§  The parent who cares more for his or her own comfort than for his or her children is immoral and unworthy.

§  This is the most important obligation in your life.

·         No one else owes you anything.

o    No one has to give you a job.

o    No one has to love you.

o    No one has to listen to your opinion.

o    Every other thing you have is a blessing from God and/or a gift from others.

·         If you are true to yourself, considerate of others, and if you love people, you may expect that a few people also will love you.  This is not a guarantee, but is likely.  Work on it.

·         In almost every case, coercion and manipulation of others is wrong.  Persuasion, on the other hand, is a skill worth learning.

·         Old proverb: “If you want peace, work for justice.”

·         Trying to be happy is less fulfilling than trying to do the right thing, than loving other people, than knowing you have done something good for someone you love, your family, the community or the world.

o    Happiness is a side-effect of a life being well lived.

o    Happiness is created from within, or received from others who share it voluntarily.  The kind of happiness that comes from circumstances or things feels good for a moment and is gone.  It is an illusion.

·         You will never have everything you want.  That’s okay.  If all your desires were satisfied, you would have nothing to look forward to, and that would be depressing.

·         If you are alive, you should be learning.  If you are alive, you should be improving yourself.  If you are alive, you should be helping others to the best of your ability.

·         Loving other people is the key to a happy and fulfilling life.  You will discover more joy when you are focused on loving others than in any other activity you may undertake.  When your goal is to help another find happiness, you are likely to find happiness yourself.  When your goal is to help another become a better person, you are likely to become a better person yourself.

·         Your attitude, whether positive or negative, will in most cases determine your happiness.

o    The world can be a difficult place.  The world can be a wonderful place.  Sometimes, whether life is beautiful or dismal depends on the way the wind is blowing. 

o    Most of the time, whether life is beautiful or dismal depends on whether we are facing the right direction.

o    Old proverb:  “A man of fifty is responsible for his own face.”  Think about it.

o    Most people get to live the life they themselves choose and create.

·         You are wonderfully made, and the one who created you, loves you.  Really.

o    No matter how badly you’ve messed up, you are never beyond the love of God. 

o    This is true, whether you believe it or not.

o    Old lyric: “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”  Is it trite, or is it profound?  You decide.

·         This is not all wisdom.  It’s just some thoughts that I hope will help you.

·         I could be wrong about some of these things.  They have been ringing true for me all my life, though.

·         One final pair of thoughts, from ancient scripture.  They come from thousands of years apart, but in my mind, they belong together.  They say the same thing in two different ways, I think, and what they say is something we too often forget.

o    “God created man in His own image.”

o    “The Kingdom of God is within you.”

o    Ponder, understand, and find your true context within our human family, our world, the great universe, and the love of God.

“This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

-          Shakespeare