Existential Angst Abides

Please indulge the author in a rare moment of personal introspection.  Gryphem is considering the option of an existential crisis. 

On the one hand, acknowledging a personal crisis tends to diminish the aura of omniscience so carefully cultivated via the Gryphem blog. 

On the other hand, with so much stress and responsibility in evidence, anyone not having some kind of personal predicament in response might be considered suspicious. 

So, in order to preserve the perception of good common sense for which he is well-known, Gryphem is prepared to acknowledge this flare-up of existential angst.

The reality of today.  A thousand duties at home, in organizations, in a new job.  Responsibility or obsessive compulsion to do more and ever more.  Insecurity about personal capability and resources.

The reality of tonight.  Most likely sleepless again, fretting over injustices or past failures, unable to stop worrying about next steps, planning ways to fix people or situations.  Definition of stress:  Having responsibility (real or perceived) for things over which one has little or no control. 

The reality of tomorrow.  Finding the boulder at the bottom again.  Pushing it up the mountainside again.   Like every other day.  So much effort should produce some enduring results, shouldn’t it?

A blunt summary of the real ‘sitz im leben’.  That’s a theological phrase in German meaning “setting in life,” or more loosely, “how it really is.”  One positive thought:  The author remembered this phrase today even though the last time he actually used it was in 1980, in seminary.

This is truth… or one aspect of truth, at least… a tiny spot of hope... the best identified option to date.  The issue:  Whether Gryphem has the wisdom and determination to transform his intellectual knowledge of this truth, and build a lifestyle change upon it.  

Thank you for sharing.  May your existential crises be mild, and may they bring you the priceless gift of spiritual enlightenment.  You should be feeling right now the results of a prayer for your present and eternal wellbeing.

Gryphem