Is This Any Way to Run a Scrap Yard?

This parable is not originally by Gryphem, although he has reworked the story to enhance its impact.  It is presented for your amusement and enlightenment.  You will most likely find it illuminating.  Read, think, learn.

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Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. The government administrators said, "Someone may steal from it at night."  So they created a Night Watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then the government administrators said, "How does the Night Watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a Training Department and hired two people, one to write the essential elements of the job, and one to plan a personnel qualification program for the Night Watchman.

Then the government administrators said, "How will we know the Night Watchman and the Training Department are doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control Department and hired two people, one to do efficiency studies and one to prepare reports.

Then the government administrators said, "We need specialists to ensure that the Night Watchman, the Training Department, and the Quality Control Department receive appropriate pay and benefits." So they created four positions, a Time Keeper, a Benefits Manager, a Contracting Officer, and a Payroll Officer, and hired four people.

Then the government administrators said, "We need someone to oversee these operations for us, and to be accountable for all of these people." So they created an Administrative Section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, an Administrative Assistant, and a Legal Secretary.

Then, because the staff had become so large, the government administrators authorized construction of a beautiful new facility to house the Bureau of Scrap.  They appointed a Secretary for the Bureau, to advise them on all matters pertaining to the scrap yard.

A year passed.  Then the Secretary of Scrap presented a report to the government administrators showing  that National Scrap Facility operations were $1.3 million over budget.  That is when the government administrators decided to lay off the Night Watchman.

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What the original parable leaves out is that the next year, in response to continuing budget overruns, the government administrators decided to liquidate the inventory of the National Scrap Facility to enhance revenue.  At the same time, they decided to increase the size of the Bureau of Scrap to gain efficiencies of scale.  They redesignated the Secretary of Scrap as the 'Secretary of Material Reutilization.'  Then, awash in virtue, they happily voted themselves a raise.
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...and they all lived happily ever after.  Even the Night Watchman, who had his unemployment benefits extended indefinitely.  Well, at least until the next recession arrived and tax revenue began to shrink.  Then the scrap hit the fan.  But that's a story for another time.  Isn't it?


Gryphem