Strange Headlines

Below I present some actual headlines and excerpts from this week’s online news.  How stoopid is we?

• "Carpenters build many things like buildings."
• Do they also build things that are not like buildings?
• "I'm having difficulty beating the Bandersnatch."
• Then stop.  The SPCA might have something to say about you beating your Bandersnatch anyway.
• "A plane is a two-dimensional doubly ruled surface spanned by two linearly independent vectors."
• Huh?



Okay, this one’s not from this week. 

But it fits the category so perfectly otherwise.

    

• "Buddhists, Dog Meat and Santa Claus"
• Name three things that have never been thought of together until now...
• "Specific ligands were found to induce erythroid-specific gene expression."
• Is this the plane dimension independence guy again?  What is his problem?!

And my favorite...

• "Boneless Smoked Ham - Delicious for Hanukkah"
• Why is the advertiser writing about Hanukkah in the month of March?  He should’ve said his ham would be delicious for Passover.

Gryphem